He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
