me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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