3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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