Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
