she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
