You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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