you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
