I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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