I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
not ubering you a puppy
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
