But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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