everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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