oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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