she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
