I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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