omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
