i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
