I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
