i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
