**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
