some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I look excited, but its just a facade.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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