just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
