Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
