I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
