Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
