the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You took a bar mat shot.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
