I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
