when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
