He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
