Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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