I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
