i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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