i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's official drugs can't kill me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
