is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
