is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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