if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
