Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
