We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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