Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
