I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
