similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
