I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
