So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
