I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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