just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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