can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
