we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
