I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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