Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
