what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
