He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
