you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
