we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
