I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
