I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
