I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
