Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
