doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
