sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
